Scarred by J.M. Snyder

Author:J.M. Snyder
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: gay erotica, futuristic, gay romance
Publisher: JMS Books LLC [email protected]

I want him to tell me he loves me, but he doesn’t say the words and I don’t ruin the moment by asking. Minutes stretch out around us, the light dims, the sun sinks low in the sky, the lawnmower in the distance grows irregular and faint and then cuts off completely, its job done. But the hammock keeps its slight motion and Coby keeps his arm around me. I feel him beneath me, hear his steady breath, smell his summery scent. I tell myself this doesn’t have to end.

If only I could make this real.

* * * *

The first thing I’m aware of when I know I’m awake is the fact that I’m alone. Coby’s arms are gone. I fell asleep with him wrapped protectively around me but it’s cold now, even with the afghan pulled up to my shoulders. I don’t like this.

Last night was wonderful, his lips, his hands, he’s everything I thought he would be, so sweet and gentle, but when I asked if he wanted to have sex, he just quieted me with more kisses, rubbed me until I thought I would scream with need of him, licked my scars and told me again how beautiful I was, how he loved the necklace on me.

I remember pieces of my dream: him in shorts that showed the pale flesh of his upper thighs, the sun warm on my skin, his heartbeat in my ear keeping time with my own. I want that back.

The cot shifts beneath me when I roll away from the wall and there he is, on the edge of the mattress, already fully dressed and tugging on the fingerless gloves he seems to favor. Tentatively, I stretch myself awake, reaching out for him, and I hook my fingers through one of the belt loops on his jeans.

He smiles down at me and says, “I’ve got something to tell you that you might not like. I thought I’d get dressed just in case you tell me to get the hell out.”

I frown, confused. I’ve got something to tell you…I can’t imagine anything he might want to say that will make me ask him to leave. “You’ve got to go,” I say, my voice thick. It’s the only thing I can think of. “This is it, isn’t it? You’re leaving now, and I’ll never see you again.”

With a sad smile, he leans back across me, his weight welcome and warm along my chest. I’m right, I know I am—I see it in his eyes. I feel it in the way he kisses me, his lips lingering on mine as if he wants to sear them with the memory of me. “Coby.” I cover my face with one hand. I knew this was coming, part of me knew he was too good to be true. “Please—”

“I didn’t even say good morning,” he murmurs, kissing my chin. “How rude of me. You sleep well last night, sunshine?”

I ignore that. “Tell me,” I say. Just get the words out and get this over with already, that’s all I’m asking for here.

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